關于在職場中學會拒絕的原因

　　You've got more work than you can possibly handle. Not to mention the time you're spending as an officer of your trade association. . . and as coach of your child's soccer team.你的工作量超出了你的可控范圍，更別說做貿易協會工作人員和當你家孩子足球隊的教練還要占用你的時間。

　　Your phone rings and it's Sally, another officer of the trade association. Sally tells you what a great job you're doing for the Association and then asks if you'd be willing to chair the Committee putting on a large event in three months.你電話響了，是貿易協會另一個職員莎莉，她先告訴你在協會做的工作有多重要，然后問你是否愿意管理一個委員會，要在三個月之內準備一個大型活動。

　　You know this project will involve countless hours of work, including weekends. You get a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your heart tells you to say "no." Your spirit tells you to say "no." But somehow, what comes out of your mouth is "Yeah, I'll do it."你知道這個項目要耗費大量工作時間，包括你的周末。你覺著胃里很不舒服，你的心告訴你要說“不”，你的精神告訴你要說“不”，但不知怎么的，從你嘴里說出來的卻是“行，我做”。

　　What happened here? How did "no" turn into "yes"? Maybe you didn't want to let others down. Or, perhaps, you wanted to be liked. For whatever reason, you agreed to do something that you didn't want to do. For most of my life, I lived this way. Saying "yes" when I really wanted to say "no." I'll bet you've done the same thing many times.你怎么了？“不”怎么變成“行”了？可能你不想讓別人失望，或者可能你想讓別人喜歡你。不管是因為什么，你都答應去做你不想做的事了。我生活中大多數時候都這樣，真想說“不”的時候卻說了“行”。我打賭很多時候你也是這樣做的。

　　I know what some of you are thinking. If I say "no" to some of these things, I'm going to look bad or hurt my chances for a promotion. For example, if I decline a request from my supervisor, I'll be viewed as someone who isn't loyal to the team.我知道你們中有些人是怎么想的，如果有些事情我說“不”了，就是表現不好了，或者會影響升職。例如，如果我拒絕了上司的要求，他就會以為我對團隊不夠忠誠。

　　Yes, there ARE consequences to saying "no." You might not get the promotion. But let's not kid ourselves here. There are also consequences to saying "yes" when you don't want to say "yes." You become resentful and angry. You feel that you're not in control of your own life. You're not living a life that's consistent with your values.是的，說“不”確實會造成一些后果，你可能無法升職，但我們不要再自欺欺人了，你不想說“行”的時候說“行”不也會造成后果嗎？你很憤恨很生氣，你感覺不能掌控自己的生活，你過著不符合自己價值觀的生活。

　　I'm not encouraging you to become lazy and refuse to go the extra mile at work and in your personal life. We all do activities that we don't particularly enjoy, like working through lunch on a key project or attending a wake after a long day at work.我不是鼓勵你變懶，在工作和個人生活中不加倍努力。我們都在做著不是特別喜歡的事情，像午餐時間仍忙于一個重要項目或工作一整天后還要值班。

　　But I'm here to say that YOU count, too! And you block your own success when you feel resentful about doing things you don't want to do. Unwanted activities are not only time consuming; they drain your energy.但我這里要說的是你自己也很重要！你做自己不想做的事時會感覺憤恨，這就阻礙了你的成功。不想做的事不僅浪費時間，也消耗你的精力。

　　So, what can you do to help you say "no" instead of "yes?" It's very helpful to set boundaries, because that will help dictate your answer when someone asks you to do something. Even better, let people know about these boundaries beforehand so they won't be taken by surprise when you say "no." For instance, if you resolve that you won't work on weekends (except in certain limited, emergency situations), when someone asks you to help out on Saturday, you can decline and tell them you spend weekends with your family.那你能做什么來幫助自己說“不”而不是說“行”呢？設定一個限度會很有用，因為當別人讓你做什么的時候這個限度可以幫你做出回答。甚至更好的方法是讓人們提前知道你的限度，因此你說“不”時不會使他們措手不及。比如說，如果你決定周末不工作（除非是某些少數緊急情況），有人讓你周六給他幫忙，你就可以拒絕并告訴他們你周末要陪家人。

　　For me, my exercise time on Saturday and Sunday is sacred. If someone asks me to do something during those times, I will politely say "no" because I value my health and well being too much to let other things get in the way.對我而言，周六和周日的鍛煉時間是神圣的，如果有人讓我周末做什么，我會很禮貌地回答“不行”，因為我太過珍視自己的健康和幸福，不能讓其他事情阻礙我。

　　If anyone thinks I'm being unreasonable, that's okay. I feel better about the decision I've made because I'm being true to what's important in my life.如果有人認為我不可理喻，沒關系。我對所做的這個決定感覺更好了，因為我信守生活中真正重要的東西。

　　You might think that you're indispensable ... that you have to say "yes" because the world will fall apart if you don't run to the rescue each time. What nonsense! In the end, you let yourself down and wind up feeling hurt.你可能會覺著自己不可或缺…你得說“行”因為每次要是你不跑去救場世界就會崩潰。真是一派胡言！最終你讓自己失望了，心里不痛快。

　　Here's the bottom line: You're allowed to say "no." It's a small two letter word with the power to liberate you and significantly improve the quality of your life.總之，你可以說“不”。簡單的一個字卻蘊含著解放你的力量，大大提高你的生活質量。

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